Cannot endorse this tweet enough. Amen brother!
1. Simplicity: For all roommates: One lease. One rent payment. One deposit refund.
2. Carpet: A sponge for endless bad decisions at 4 AM? No thx.
3. Parents: Part I Strangle that urge to criticize your tenants to their parents. This will backfire.
4. Parents: Part II If you ignore #3, budget a lawyer on retainer.
5. Unit Mix: The perfect place to be in a college market: Find the scarcest unit size in the best location.
6. Details Matter: Bad lease starts August 1st. Good: Keys are available August 1st at 11:15 AM 6. Greek Letters The more of these parked in your driveway (front yard) the more likely you are to get paid. SAE + SUV = USD.
7. Subletting: Beware. If you allow it, this will become musical chairs.
8. Rule of Thumb: My ideal size is ~400/SF per student.
9. Neighbor: Rankings 1) Fences 2) Other Students….974) Retired Lawyers
10. Location: Every block away from campus should feel like a mile. Every mile should feel like 1,000.
11. Utilities: Including them is an avant-garde approach to bankruptcy.
12. Advertising: Facebook Groups = good. Zillow is great. The best? Referrals.
13. Best ROI: Spend money outdoors. Decks, patios, and sturdy (prison-like) furniture.
14. Plumbing: “Don’t flush_____.” LOL. A new sewer line will get results. Lecturing or a lease addendum will not.
15. NextDoor: Peruse the site for 10 minutes. Now imagine what that’s like in a college town.
16. Business Model: It’s closer to a hotel than true MFH. Turning over beds (annually)…forever.
17. Holidays: Christmas & Thanksgiving are great. Kids are at home, time to relax. But June 1- Aug 15th is like swimming in a landfill.
18. Start Date: The LL of the most desirable houses gets to choose when the lease starts. Own these.
19. Washer/Dryer/Stove/Fridge/Dishwasher: Yes/Yes/Yes/Yes/Yes
20. Ice Maker/Garbage Disposal/Pools: No/No/Have you lost your mind?
21. Mullets: For neighborhood harmony, make this deal with the tenants. Keep the front yard clean, move the party to the back.
22. Vocabulary: Remove the phrase “Surely they wouldn’t_____”
23. Cleaners: You will create generational wealth for these ppl. Ask them to be your private lender.
24. Parking: Four spots for a 4 BR ain’t enough. 2-3 (in)significant others + the rando couch surfers. Pray for street parking.
25. Vibes: Every college house needs one. Your job is to create it.
26. Therapy: Schedule your sesh on Friday mornings. You won’t miss anything. 27. Vacancy Good news: 0% if you’re doing it right. Bad news: 50% or 100% if you’re doing it wrong.
28. Pride: This is what you’ll exchange for cash flow.
29. Boredom: You will never feel this again.