Cannot endorse this tweet enough. Amen brother!
1. Simplicity: For all roommates: One lease. One rent payment. One deposit refund.
2. Carpet: A sponge for endless bad decisions at 4 AM? No thx.
3. Parents: Part I Strangle that urge to criticize your tenants to their parents. This will backfire.
4. Parents: Part II If you ignore #3, budget a lawyer on retainer.
5. Unit Mix: The perfect place to be in a college market: Find the scarcest unit size in the best location.
6. Details Matter: Bad lease starts August 1st. Good: Keys are available August 1st at 11:15 AM 6. Greek Letters The more of these parked in your driveway (front yard) the more likely you are to get paid. SAE + SUV = USD.
7. Subletting: Beware. If you allow it, this will become musical chairs.
8. Rule of Thumb: My ideal size is ~400/SF per student.
9. Neighbor: Rankings 1) Fences 2) Other Students….974) Retired Lawyers
10. Location: Every block away from campus should feel like a mile. Every mile should feel like 1,000.
11. Utilities: Including them is an avant-garde approach to bankruptcy.
12. Advertising: Facebook Groups = good. Zillow is great. The best? Referrals.
13. Best ROI: Spend money outdoors. Decks, patios, and sturdy (prison-like) furniture.
14. Plumbing: “Don’t flush_____.” LOL. A new sewer line will get results. Lecturing or a lease addendum will not.
15. NextDoor: Peruse the site for 10 minutes. Now imagine what that’s like in a college town.
16. Business Model: It’s closer to a hotel than true MFH. Turning over beds (annually)…forever.
17. Holidays: Christmas & Thanksgiving are great. Kids are at home, time to relax. But June 1- Aug 15th is like swimming in a landfill.
18. Start Date: The LL of the most desirable houses gets to choose when the lease starts. Own these.
19. Washer/Dryer/Stove/Fridge/Dishwasher: Yes/Yes/Yes/Yes/Yes
20. Ice Maker/Garbage Disposal/Pools: No/No/Have you lost your mind?
21. Mullets: For neighborhood harmony, make this deal with the tenants. Keep the front yard clean, move the party to the back.
22. Vocabulary: Remove the phrase “Surely they wouldn’t_____”
23. Cleaners: You will create generational wealth for these ppl. Ask them to be your private lender.
24. Parking: Four spots for a 4 BR ain’t enough. 2-3 (in)significant others + the rando couch surfers. Pray for street parking.
25. Vibes: Every college house needs one. Your job is to create it.
26. Therapy: Schedule your sesh on Friday mornings. You won’t miss anything. 27. Vacancy Good news: 0% if you’re doing it right. Bad news: 50% or 100% if you’re doing it wrong.
28. Pride: This is what you’ll exchange for cash flow.
29. Boredom: You will never feel this again.
We are pledged to the letter and spirit of U.S. policy for the achievement of equal housing opportunity throughout the Nation. See Equal Housing Opportunity Statement for more information.
